When I was studying at Harvard in the early s, I had a black immigrant professor who had built part of his career gas-lighting anti-black discrimination in favor of s-style black cultural inferiority tropes. He cited statistics saying that black women did not perform oral sex as often as white women, making them less desirable sexual partners. Sexual incompatibility on this sex act was part of the motor driving black men to date interracially more than black women. I was struck by how he ignored scholarship showing how white women are lauded as the essence of beauty, domesticity, and ideal womanhood. Instead, in a reversal of the Jezebel stereotype, he explained this race-gender imbalance as due to black women being prudes.
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Or, more accurately, a stranger my mom met when she was pretending to be me on her phone. She'd arranged the meeting through Tinder, my Tinder, in hopes of finding me a girlfriend. I only knew the woman's first name, and as I got closer to the bar where we'd agreed to meet, I saw a young brunette just outside. This had to be her. I heard my mom's voice in the back of my head from a few days earlier. I think you should get to know people.
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Why do I date white women? Black women have told me it's because I'm a sellout. The white men who can get past the mental anguish of my black penis tarnishing "their" women think I'm making some latent admission that their race has the most attractive women. White women range from those so intrigued by black men that it veers into fetish to those so reluctant to date black men that it feels more racist than preference-driven.
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